So this is more for me to just get it out there and out of my heart. As a lot of you know Darryl left to go back to Iraq this last Thursday. I've been putting on a brave face for Cora and Shay trying to be strong and not let my sad feelings show. Until today and it hit me as I was washing Darryl's civilian clothes knowing he won't be wearing them again for quite a long time. It also seemed hard that I have his clothes here and yet he is a world away (obviously he doesn't need his fun clothes in Iraq.)
We just heard from him yesterday for the first time since Thurs. and he made it there safely, so that was a relief. While he was home on R & R his whole Brigade moved to Bacraba (sp)? one of, if not the most dangerous spot in Iraq right now. So it made saying goodbye to him even harder on Thursday.
It's definitely hard the 1st time letting him go during a deployment...but then the 2nd time you know what it entails and it's almost harder. The time we spent with Darryl was like a dream. It really did go by too fast. Every moment you try to savor more than the last. When we first met Darryl at the airport to begin his R&R it was euphoric...one of those moments in life when you feel it should definitely have background music like in the movies. In the airport before he left again was one of those moments too...when you wish time would just stand still. Just watching him holding the girls, kissing them it was so hard to hold it together. Then before he was about to board just holding him before we let him go. Nothing around us was important...just our family holding on tight, until a gentleman came up to thank us...thank him for his and our sacrifice. More people in fact had spoken to us while we were waiting with Darryl and it was greatly appreciated. In fact I know it helped Darryl to get back on the plane to go to such a harsh place and continue what he's been doing for the past 8 months. That what he is doing does make a difference to people and that they weren't afraid to tell him.
Some of the things I will miss the most will be the small things like holding his hand. Having him next to me. Being able to hug him. Looking into his eyes. You better believe I took full advantage of his R&R and really
appreciated being able to do all of those things and then telling him that.
Then there was Cora's prayer last night. She blessed the food and started to tell Heavenly Father how grateful she is to have Shay here, Mommy here, Grandma and Grandpa here, and She said Daddy...paused not here, I miss my Daddy and he's in my heart. Jesus loves him in Iraq. Amen. Both my Mother and I had tears streaming down our cheeks. How sweet children are and how tender their hearts.
So anyway I figured I'd get this out of my system before Thanksgiving because we really do have so much to be thankful for.
8 comments:
Oh Laurie. I don't even know what to say, except my heart aches for you. You expressed your feelings so beautifully. I wish there was something I could do for you to make it less painful being away from Darryl. You may need to be strong for your girls, but you don't have to be strong for your friends back here...we are all here with open ears and hearts and will listen to your ups and downs. Continue to journal, it feels good to get your thoughts off your mind. So know that I am thinking about you and wishing and praying for a fast and safe next several months for you and your family. You are a strong and wonderful person, I really look up to you with admiration!
I am sitting here in tears because my heart aches for you and your family. We are all grateful for your sacrifice and I will remember you in my prayers. I am so happy you are able to be with your family for a bit longer, and remember that your friends here at home love you too!
You expressed yourself so beautifully, Laurie. Like Cathy I am in tears reading your post. Your family is always in our thoughts and prayers and we hope you have a nice holiday season with your family and that Darryl will remain safe. We miss you and wish you were all here to join us for Thanksgiving again this year.
I'm glad there were people at the airport to express the appreciation that I feel for you and all of the wonderful families in our military. I am honored that so many are willing to sacrifice so much for my family.
Just wanted to tell you we are thinking of you and your sweet family!! Sending hugs and prayers your way.
I just read your blog, and you know me Laurie...all teary. I love you though, and admire your brave spirit and ability to see through the hurt to the greater picture, and to the awesome calling the Lord has placed upon Daryl (and you). It takes a hero to answer that call, and it takes another to stand by him. You're awesome. Sending hugs from Washington to Florida....we miss you.
Ok, I am sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks. You are an amazing woman and so strong. I doubt you even know how strong you are. My heart aches for your family and I hope that time speeds up for all of you and that the next thing you know you will be back at the airport with the movie music playing, but this time he'll be staying home for good! We miss you much and hope you are having a great time in Florida.
Crying for us both here. Your strength inspires me.
Laurie...I'm so sorry you are without your husband again. So hard to send him off to a scarier mission. We will pray for his safety and for your strengh. Know that you are loved by so many in our ward. We will be here for you. Let me know if there is ever anything my family can do to help.
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